It only took a day for me to binge Netflix’s Stranger Things Season 3 and I had lots of company.
Reports are, it melted ratings records across the planet this week.
For those who haven’t caught it yet, the show unfolds in 'any town' USA where a bunch of kids go up about 800 weight divisions to tackle a bunch of horrific nasties from a parallel universe.
Set in the 80’s and backed by a killer soundtrack, it’s super TV.
The recurring tagline is "The Upside Down’"where the monsters live and where nothing goes the way it should.
So, with Stranger Things as this week’s inspiration, here are your top five moments in rugby which could have only come from another world…time to go into The Upside Down.
🔔Minimal spoilers ahead🔔
5. The Hoff does Hong Kong Sevens
Stranger Things Factor: (season 1) Eleven’s ‘Papa.’ Something just really not right about it all.
Yep, this happened. David Hasselhoff headlined the entertainment at the Hong Kong Sevens in 2016. What could go wrong? Everything. What went wrong? Everything. It was awesome to watch.
Things got off to a rocky start for ‘The Hoff’ on game day, when, eating next to my mate Stephen Hoiles at the hotel restaurant, he took a mouthful of something he didn’t agree with.
"So the Hoff is right behind me and all of a sudden he starts screaming “The Spice…ooooohhhh THE SPICE. OOOhhhhhh!!”," Hoilesy recalls.
"People come running from everywhere with ice packs and milk for him. It was really weird. I finished my ¾ latte and left just as he turned red."
The former Baywatch star climbed off the canvas to sing his theme song in front of the South Stand later that morning. Backed by a guy in a fat-suit, a Pamela Anderson look-a-like and a small person, he missed almost every cue and nobody cared. I hope he returns in 2020 and again every year after.
4. ‘The Fog’ – 2006 Super Rugby Final
Stranger Things Factor: (season 1) Tech dramas in the Byer house. Why is this happening? What’s going on back there?
In one of the weirder finals you’ll ever see, the Crusaders rolled the Hurricanes...we think.
Moments from kick-off, a Scooby Doo type mist descended on Christchurch meaning nobody could see a thing. Not the people in the stands, not the commentators. Punters at home....forget about it.
New Zealand broadcasting legend Grant Nesbitt did a masterful job trying to describe the play. His line before Isaia Toeava got the game started was a pearler.
"(Referee) Jonathan Kaplan can probably, barely, see the Crusaders to ask them if they’re ready."
Anyway, Richie McCaw and the Red and Black machine went on to win. Apparently.
3. England go Upside Down at the 2011 Rugby World Cup
Stranger Things Factor: (season 2/3) Billy Hargrove. This is unhinged and it’s only getting worse.
Coached by England Rugby legend Martin Johnson, the men in white were knocked out by France in the quarter-finals. Forgettable on-field, sure, but how about off it? Their mid-week night out in Queenstown led to this headline in The Telegraph a few years on. I’m not making this up.
"I don't regret drunken World Cup night at dwarf-tossing club," says Mike Tindall"
As noted in the Stranger Things Factor above, the tour went complete Billy when Manu Tuilagi launched himself off a cruise into Auckland Harbour. He swam his way to Pier 3 before being taken to Auckland Police Station.
2. "The miracle in Brighton" - 2015 Rugby World Cup
Stranger Things Factor: (season 1) Demogorgon. Surely this can’t be happening in our universe. Can it?
There are so many sides to Japans takedown of South Africa it could, in itself, become a TV series of its own. Japan rolling the two-time World Champions with time virtually up? It really is borderline fictional like the Demogorgon.
We saw the outpouring of elation from the Japanese fans and we know how the punters from South Africa embraced them. We’ve heard about Eddie Jones’ meticulous preparation and how it led to Michael Leitch’s match winning try. So many storylines, including that of my buddy ‘Clarkey.’
After placing a free bet with a corporate bookmaker, he worked his initial selection up to a total in the thousands. The only catch? He had to ‘turn over’ his winnings. Sensing an easy collect, he plonked the loot, every last cent, on the Springboks. Clarkey no longer gambles and collapses into the foetal position whenever he sees a Japanese jersey.
1.The Dressing Sheds Haka – Millennium Stadium
Stranger Things Factor: (seasons 1-3) The Upside Down. Fully strange. If they didn’t face it, did it happen?
Upset at Wales' proposal to sing their national anthem after the Haka, New Zealand said, "Nuts to that," and opted for the dressing sheds inside Millennium Stadium instead.
In one of the stranger pre-games you’re ever likely to see, Piri Weepu and the crew fired up deluxe while locking eyes with management and what appeared to be their ice baths. Full upside down.
Adding to the weirdness of the night, a bunch of farmers in white coats paraded livestock up and down the sidelines.
A couple of years later, the two teams went strange again, with Wales staring down the All Blacks haka for what seemed a lifetime. NZ went on to win the game with the ref blowing full-time around 3am local.
So, it looks like Cardiff is the gateway to the Rugby Upside Down. Who’d have thought.
Sean Maloney has spent his life in rugby including professional stints overseas. He’s banked 15 years in Broadcast, is the host of Rugby Nation and can be heard next commentating the Rugby World Cup from Japan.
