Everything about Taniela Tupou is BIG. When the giant prop starts a Test with his socks around his ankles, it’s not disrespect but the impossibility of sliding them up over his giant calves.
The calf muscle tear that sidelined him for 10 weeks was more akin to the ringbarking of a palm tree.
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His dogs, Thor and Hulk, look big enough to pack down in the front-row with him. You need to be on a hefty six-figure contract just to feed raw meat to these bull mastiffs.
Tupou has a big heart too. When his homeland of Tonga was ravaged by a volcanic eruption and tsunami in January, you felt his anguish each time he talked about it.
He personally collected clothes, gear, boots and donated goods from his Queensland Reds teammates for a container to send to Tonga.
Of course, the popular prop isn’t going to fit into a Mini. He drives a big red ute. He’s even bought himself a pop-up camper for naps between sessions on busy Queensland Reds training days at Ballymore.
When Tupou packs down against England’s Ellis Genge in the weekend’s epic series climax against England it will be like two planets colliding at the Sydney Cricket Ground.
Tupou maxes out any set of scales not prepared to go beyond 130kg. Genge is 120kg-plus of gladiatorial mindset essential to how the English perform.
Genge lifted his game to the heights to bullock, break tackles and scrummage powerfully in England’s second Test win just as Tupou was a significant factor as Australia’s first tryscorer and scrum rock.
Some of us won’t have even noticed but Tupou has singlehandedly triggered a massive shift in Australian Rugby.
For so long, it has been ‘fancy Dan’ backs commanding all the attention, the promo trimmings, the television spots and the cult hero status.
Just think of the past 40 years … Mark Ella, David Campese, Michael Lynagh, Tim Horan, George Gregan, Matt Giteau, Quade Cooper and so on.
Only John Eales really bucked the trend and that was two decades and more ago. In 2022, Tupou is box office. Fans like seeing heroes who are genuine. Funny is a major bonus. Tupou is both.
Ten weeks away? Few would believe he was out of the game that long between injuring his calf in late April and last weekend’s re-appearance at Suncorp Stadium in the second Test. Why? His face has been everywhere.
His presence in those promotional ads for broadcaster Stan Sport had him front and centre for weeks in the lead-up to the series.
Gatecrashing that toffy English tea party was the follow up to his perfect comic touches in the “Stan Sport, Mum” ad promoting the Super Rugby Pacific competition.
Tupou is also a bigger name abroad than many realise, especially in French Rugby where they worship props like supermodels.
One international photo agency in Australia is basically on Tupou-watch when shooting matches. That’s all the Rugby-mad French sports newspapers want from the game Down Under.
For all the hype around Tupou, he is 130kg of mummy’s boy. He has a large tattoo of his mother Loisi’s face on the left side of his massive chest.
Promoting fundraising for UNICEF Australia’s Tongan Recovery Appeal was a deeply personal cause earlier this year.
He had to wait days after Tonga’s dramatic eruption in mid-January to hear from his mother.
“It was tough wondering if my mum was okay,” Tupou said.
“People heard a big noise like a machine gun, then the tide went out and came back in again.
“My mum’s village outside Nuku’alofa was okay. The ash from the volcano was thick on the roofs, everywhere. You needed to wear a mask but it could have been worse.
“I couldn’t call my mum. I had to wait four days until a call came through at 2am. When I heard everyone (in my family) was okay I went to sleep in peace.”
Tupou is still just 26. He will play his 40th Test tonight against England at an age when frontline 1980s prop Andy McIntyre had still to play his first.
In a nutshell, it tells you everything about how much youthful scrum craft, experience and influence beats inside the biggest body in the Wallabies pack.
He will be a massive force at next year’s Rugby World Cup in France and still a weapon, at 31, in 2027 when Australia plays host.
He’s an indispensable piece to the front-row puzzle for the Wallabies. His 50-minutes of match fitness last weekend will be a huge asset now he has to lift again so the Wallabies turn more heat on England than the tourists plan to glow with themselves.
First-time fatherhood is only a good thing for Tupou. It’s that something else in his life, apart from Rugby, that gives him balance. Newborn Nela and partner Molly Evans mean everything.
Tupou has played so much and had his life revolve so much around Rugby that his time-off to mend his calf injury was more therapeutic than many realise.
When asked before his second Test comeback whether it was the best thing for his career, Tupou was clear.
“100 per cent. I don’t know how to put it into words but I think being injured was the best thing to ever happen to me mentally and physically. I was ready for something different,” Tupou said.
“I stayed away from footy, I was spending time with the missus and the family and now I’m ready to play again.”
Sleeping in camp with the Wallabies, away from 4am feeding time wake-ups for tiny Nela, isn’t something he should get used to. He’ll have to do his share of nappy duties. He’s up for it all.
Wallabies boss Dave Rennie has enjoying seeing young players mature over many years.
“I think when you become a father you’re playing for something bigger than yourself,” Rennie said.
Being switched-on to rugby again makes Tupou more dangerous than ever tonight.
Those pumping legs when he charges at the tryline from point blank range, the truck-like influence he exerts at scrum-time, those deft handling touches in attacking raids … a full-throttle Tupou can go a long way to winning a massive Test series.
